The Furless Leader

Oh, really? It's FEARless leader, you say? Well, not in this house!

I know, I should bad for Scruffers. It's not his fault that his arthritis is so bad that he's unable to clean his back. Heather brushes it a lot, but she hasn't wanted to get in too deep because she's not sure how much pain he's in. And finally Scruffers had to go to the vet yesterday and the people told her his matting was too close to the skin to try and clean it up. He was forced to endure multiple shots, a blood draw, an ear cleaning and a partial body shave. Better you than me, old boy!

So, for all of you to see: Scruffy's new 'do!

What part of "I hate everything new" don't you get?

So here I am living the life of a happy indoor kitty, putting up with my cranky brother Scruffers. Life seemed good. Simple, routine, and perfect. What kitty doesn't appreciate a simple routine?

I get up, meow at everyone else to get up, I get fed, I take a bath, run around, take a nap, repeat. What part of this perfect routine says "please change"? NONE of it!

I woke up this morning and Heather attempted to feed me a meal I had never tried before. Where does that fit into my routine? No where. Duh. I ate a little and let her know how angry I was. But Heather must be really dense because she fed me the same stupid thing for dinner.

You realize I don't like change, right? So why are you trying to change my meals? Humans can have all the variety in the world. I'm a kitty. I don't need variety. (Hmm, by that logic, maybe Heather's dad is a kitty too...)

I didn't give in for dinner. I ran away. I ran around in circles and meowed at Heather till I lost my breath. Then I tried to bury my dinner. Finally - two hours later!!! - Heather gave in. She went into the garage and pulled out some of the wet food I like and poured it over the top of my rejected dinner.

OK, I admit it, I compromised and I ate it. I was hungry by then, you know. But I'm still not letting Heather anywhere near me. I sat with my back turned to her at the dining room table so she'd see how angry I was. Am.

I need to learn how to use a can opener.

The hiatus is over!

Phew! That's all I can say for the last month. February was crazy and March was even crazier. I wanted to write and let you all know I am doing OK, but everyone was so busy I had to help out more at home.

Craig has been on the road a lot. It turns out that researching and writing two books at the same time along with frequent book talks around the state and other freelance projects is a lot of work.

And Heather, yeah, same deal. No, she's not researching two books. No, her job has increased in responsibility and time, which she swears is positive. She and Craig keep mentioning that in this economy you're either working like a dog or not working at all. I guess since I'm not a dog that leaves me as "not working."

So my job is to help out when I can. I help inspect the packing and unpacking process for Craig. I help Heather with computer work (she calls it "distracting") and I keep them both on track by making sure they get up bright and early every day. The early bird gets the worm!

As a side note - happy one year anniversary to Scruffy Gray! He came to our home officially last Good Friday. I love you, bro!

It must be a deadline!

All the humans are working like crazy this week! Heather and Craig have their noses to the grindstone (ok, really to the computer) desperately trying to get work done before tomorrow night.

Scruffy and I have tried to play and chase them around but only Heather has been willing to take short (sanity) breaks to play with us. I sure don't envy them! It's days like this I'm glad I'm a kitty. What a life, eh?

(Photo: Are you sure I can't help out? I'm really good at organizing!)

No bull - get a kitty!

OK, I am not sure I understand human behavior. Who would ever think of having a bull as a pet? Can a bull fetch your newspaper and slippers? (Not that I do that, mind you, but I have been known to steal slippers.) Can you take a bull out for a hike or a long run? Is a bull snuggly? No, no and no.

Please folks, do not try this at home. Skip the bull and get a kitty. Or (gasp) even a dog.

(This guy seems to be as unsnuggly as you can get as far as pets are concerned.)

Coroner: Eastern Pa. man killed by pet bull
An eastern Pennsylvania man was attacked and killed by a "temperamental" pet bull a day before his 53rd birthday, the coroner's office said Monday.

The property owners had encouraged Weinhold to get rid of the bull, Straka said. She said the same animal believed responsible for the weekend attack rammed Weinhold last summer, breaking several of his ribs.

Weinhold kept about 10 head of cattle at the farm, all of them as pets. Straka said it's not clear what precipitated Saturday's attack. The bull recently fathered a calf, but Straka said bulls are not as protective of their offspring as cows.

No one witnessed the attack. All of Weinhold's injuries appear to have been inflicted by a bull's head and hooves.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Sigh. It was sunny for almost a week. And in February too! The irises are blooming, the heather plants smell nice, the birds have been seen playing in the yard, and now it's all gone. Back to the gray, dismal and depressing northwest winter weather that makes me want to curl up in my fleece snuggle bed and nap all day.

Don't worry, Heather. You work hard on getting your work deadlines met and I'll nap for you!

What did you say? Oh, it's not Monday? Well, really, what does it matter to me? I'm just a little indoor kitty. Days-schmays, it's all the same to me.

Commando Kitty!

See that small golden circle hanging (annoyingly) off my collar? Well, it's gone now. I've gone commando!

Whenever I feel like Heather has slighted me, I tear off my collar so she knows how I feel: I don't associate myself with you. What has she done this time? Oh, the usual. She didn't take me outside yesterday on the last nice sunny day of the week. (Mark one check against her.) And then she has sent Craig away and he still hasn't come home. (Mark a bold check against her here.)

Scruffers is convinced that she took Craig to the vet and left him there. He won't sit on her lap in case he's next. OK, I know, he's a little odd. And highly anxious. And without Craig around we all get a little depressed.

So it's my job to mix things up a little. Liven things up. And so, I've gone commando!

Beppe Bigazzi is sick in the head

How would you like your kitty served? With fresh herbs, maybe some fresh catnip?

Celebrity chef Beppe Bigazzi upsets viewers with his cat casserole

A top Italian food writer has been suspended indefinitely from the country’s version of the television programme Ready Steady Cook for recommending stewed cat to viewers as a “succulent dish”.

RAI, the public broadcasting network, said that it had dropped Beppe Bigazzi, 77, for offering the recipe on La Prova del Cuoco, which is broadcast at midday on the main channel. Its switchboard was inundated with complaints from viewers and animal rights groups. Bigazzi said that casserole of cat was a famous dish in his home region of Valdarno, Tuscany.

“I’ve eaten it myself and it’s a lot better than many other animals,” he told viewers. “Better than chicken, rabbit or pigeon.” He said that for optimum flavour the meat should be “soaked in spring water for three days” before being stewed.

Elisa Isoardi, the programme’s presenter — who has a cat called Othello — tried to steer Bigazzi off the subject. Reports said that during the commercial break she and the show’s producers tried to persuade him to apologise to viewers but he refused.

Carla Rocchi, the head of ENPA, the Italian society for the protection of animals, said that killing cats was illegal. Francesca Martini, the Deputy Health Minister, said it was “absolutely unheard of for a public service broadcaster to tell people how delicious cats are to eat”. She called for the producers to be investigated for criminal offences involving incitement to mistreat animals.

Bigazzi, a consumer affairs journalist and author of Cooking with Common Sense, has been one of the stars of La Prova del Cuoco for the past ten years. He is noted for his exuberant style and previously caused uproar by boiling lobsters live on the show. Yesterday he said that he had only been joking about the recipe, and he had been misunderstood.

He added: “Mind you, I wasn’t joking all that much. In the 1930s and 1940s, when I was a boy, people certainly did eat cat in the countryside around Arezzo.” Food historians said that Italians in cities such as Vicenza devised cat recipes in times of economic hardship. Inhabitants of Vicenza are still nicknamed magnagati (cat eaters), and in some butchers’ shops rabbits are sold with their heads to assure buyers that they are not cats.

From pet to pot

• In his 1529 treatise on cookery, Ruperto de Nola recommended spit-roasting cat basted with garlic and olive oil. He wrote: “Take the garlic with oil mixed with good broth so that it is coarse, and pour it over the cat and you can eat it for it is a good dish”

• The Spanish expression pasar gato por liebre derives from the practice of hunters trying to sell skinned cats as hares. When butchered, the animals are supposed to look almost identical

• In 2007 Australians at a cooking contest in Alice Springs sought to curb the feral cat population by using them in a dish. One judge found the cat casserole so tough that she had to spit it out

• Last month legal experts in China responded to pressure from the country’s middle class and proposed a ban on eating cat and dog meat. Both are traditional Chinese dishes but if the law is passed people caught eating cats could face 15 days in prison

Giuseppe: Read the story and watch the video of this cruel chef at the UK Times Online. I give the show's programmer credit - she kept picturing her kitty Othello in a stew and looks horrified. Beppe - the Great Depression is over. Even the Chinese have (officially) given up eating kitties.

Gung hay fat choy!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Yay! It's my favorite year in the Chinese horoscope - year of the tiger! OK, I personally wasn't born in the year of the tiger, but my human friend Heather was, and she's super excited. What do I love? The fact that it's the year of the kitty! Kitties everywhere - rejoice! We rule!

The ultimate kitty betrayal

How could it be? I thought we were kitty friends. Best kitty friends (BKF!), in fact. But then, I spotted it - the ultimate betrayal.

Sure, I know I like to drop dookies in Scruffy's kitty box. And he does it to me too. It's just part of the game we call "Turd Wars." But this, dios mio, was downright mean.

Ok, ok, get to the point Giuseppe Gattino. I went to lie down in my fleece snuggle bed and, gasp, someone was already in it. In MY snuggle bed. Scruffy - how could you?

I tried to alert Heather, but she thought Scruffy was missing. She and Craig searched all over the house for him while I stood by their bed meowing my complaint. Finally, Heather looked under the bed and saw a strange sight. Something gray sticking its head out of my snuggle bed. And then - it gets worse! - she started laughing. Ooh, that just made me even more angry.

After a good laugh, and some photos, Craig pulled out the treats to entice Scruffy to get out of my bed. They tried to offer us both treats but I refused. No way. You can't buy your way out of this one. I waved my tail in annoyance and stomped off to Heather's office. When Heather followed me in and brought in those stupid treats I showed her what I thought and tried to bury them in the carpet. Take that, Heather!

But I can't hold a grudge for long. Heather got me some of my favorite treats and brought them to the windowsill where only I could eat them. I enjoyed them and then, when Heather wasn't looking, I ate the discarded treats that Heather threw in Scruffy's bowl. And now that I'm full, it's time for a little kitty nap. But maybe on my throne, since my bed still smells like Scruffy.